Tuesday, October 14, 2014

7 Things About Me That Have Nothing To Do With My Transgender Wife or Polyamory


I am proud to announce that I am the recipient of a blogger chain mail prestigious blogger award. Thank you to Ashley of Fjarilar och Zebror (a blog I can't pronounce but love to read) for nominating me!

I'm supposed to write 7 things about myself, so I thought I'd share some random facts that deviate from my usual topics of transgender marriage and polyamory:

1. My body is unmodified.
No piercings. No tattoos. No split tongue to look like a lizard. I think earrings are beautiful on other women, but can't rationalize punching holes in my body parts just to hang decorative adornments.

2. I am a popcorn addict.
I don't mean "addict" in a lightheartedly exaggerated Ohmygod I love popcorn so much I'm like totally addicted kind of way. I mean "addict" in a once I start eating I physically can't stop, double-hand shoveling popcorn into my face even after my stomach hurts, polishing off solo enough popcorn for 20 people, eating stale popcorn out of the sofa cushions kind of way.

3. I keep tap shoes in the trunk of my car.
They've been there for over 10 years.
I don't tap dance.
But you never know when you're going to need a pair.

4. I am prone to hypochondriac dramatics.

These are actual recent conversations:

Bradley: It looks like a pimple. It doesn't look anything like herpes.
Me: It looks like a pimple but what if it's herpes?
Bradley: It's not herpes.
Me: Did you see my eyes? They are all red and gooey. I probably gave myself herpes in the eye. I am going to go blind!
Bradley: You're not going to go blind.
Me: I'm going to die of eye herpes!
Bradley: That's not a thing.

Me: When I go to the doctor next week I'm going to ask about ovarian cancer. I have all the symptoms-- fatigue, bloating, frequent urination.
Jay: You're bloated because you've been eating like shit lately.
Me: Oh yeah. That's true.
Jay: And if those are the symptoms, then you've had cancer since I met you. Thirteen years ago.
Me: I probably have had cancer since I met you and now it's progressed really far and I'm going to die!
Jay: You need to STOP diagnosing yourself online.
Ten minutes later...
Me: Ugh, my shoulders are so tense, I have a headache.
Jay: It's probably the cancer.

5. I've never tried drugs.
Not even marijuana. No judgment, I just can't fathom consuming anything that might make me more paranoid than I already am (see above), or give me the munchies worse than I already have (see #2).

6. My cat verbally abuses me.
"Feed me, bitch!"
"Meatball! That is so rude. I am feeding you right now."
"Just kidding mom, I love you."
"Yay! Come sit on my lap. Oh please oh please, I need a lap kitty today."
"No way. You wreak of desperation. It's pathetic!"

Like all names in this blog, Meatball is a pseudonym. To protect his privacy.

7. I write blog posts while driving.
No, not with a computer on my lap in the car. I write blog posts in my head while I'm driving and then type them out when I get home. If I haven't blogged in a while, there's a good chance I haven't had to commute as far for work.

Now is the part where I nominate 5 other bloggers for the One Lovely Blog Award. I'm pretty sure this chain mail is going to die here (no pressure y'all if you actually see this) but here goes:

A Place In My Heart

Him and Me and Her and Them

Poly Nirvana

Rachel Leibrock

Thoughts that need to be...

2 comments:

  1. Hmm, so what you're saying is... your cat is a cat. :)

    Also, I think I have the opposite problem of #4. Whenever there's something medically wrong with me, I let it go on way too long before I get around to doing anything about it. It's a bad habit.

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  2. My boyfriend and I were together for nearly a year and he broke up with me in August. The breakup was pretty brutal to be honest. When I asked him if he loved me he said that “he thought he did.” Which was obviously horrible to hear especially since he was the first one to drop the ‘I love you’ bomb when we were dating. To say I was surprised is an understatement. I started to breakdown and told him to leave and that we were done. He was crying when he left so I can’t tell if it was because he really did love me or he just felt guilty. Who knows. But I didn’t speak him for nearly 7 months. My friends helpful. They told me about magic strong( he has a website http://magical-rituals.com ). Not thinking much about it I give a try. I bought love spell in special offer. Effect appears very quickly. Boyfriend back to me. I never believed in those magical things but I change my mind about it.

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