Tuesday, July 22, 2014

What's in a name? (a lot for a trans girl)

I'm changing my spouse's pseudonym to Jay going forward. It's the name she originally requested for this blog, but I insisted on designating her distinct boy and girl pseudonyms (Jake and Jasmine) to mirror her real-life boy and girl names. When I launched this blog she was either presenting in guy-mode or girl-mode, and I thought I'd be writing about those differing experiences. At that time, she'd also picked out her female name, with plans to legally change it further along in transition.

But she's not changing her name after all. And she's no longer presenting as one or the other gender. She's simply herself. Both genders, or neither.

After seeing other trans people use transition to reinvent themselves, Jay decided that's not the path for her. She is not trying to kill off Jake to create some new woman Jasmine. Rather, she's the same person (a person she likes!) who is simply trying to make her outward appearance match her inward identity. So in a rebellious act of self-love, she is keeping her birth name. Fortunately, it's a name that although typically given to males, is occasionally given to females as well (think Jordan for instance).

So from here on out, I'll be writing about my wife Jay. She is fierce.

6 comments:

  1. Hi, it was so good meeting you--serendipitously!--at BlogHer and getting the chance to talk. Honestly, of all my conversations with people I didn't know, our talk was my favorite (is that a strange thing to say?) and resonated the most. I've only read one entry so far but I find it's so insightful and compassionate, I'm looking forward to reading more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the lovely note, Rachel! Not strange at all; it was a pleasure talking with you too. :)

      Delete
  2. I am so glad that I met you at BlogHer. I'd like for you to consider writing an Our Land Post - it's a series that I do, designed to raise empathy and awareness for everybody. To remind humanity that we are more alike than different. To remember that we're all in this crazy beautiful world together and that that's what matters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a beautiful concept. I would be honored to and will send you an email.

      Delete
  3. Imagine that--calling yourself by your own name, presenting to the world the authentic self, loving and being loved--this is all good stuff!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen, Ashley! Thanks so much for stopping by. :)

      Delete