The sweet thrill of a kiss at the end of a good first date
The giddy post-kiss high as I walk back to my car
The instant urge to text an update to my partners to share my excitement
The overwhelming desire to go home and hold my partners tight, and shower them with affection
The liberation of knowing that even though I'm married, I can experience this beautiful first-kiss cycle over and over again
Conventional monogamous wisdom would have us believe that being excited about someone new automatically means being less excited about someone old. I've found the exact opposite to be true.
Titillating newness has the downside of uncertainly. After first meeting someone, everything is still unknown, from interest on either side to compatibility to what type of relationship might evolve (or not) from the connection. In sharp contrast, my existing relationships are comfortably stable and secure. I know that we love each other unconditionally, can count on each other, and have a future together if we just keep treating each other well a day at a time. In other words, making out with hot new guys makes me appreciate my existing relationships even more.
Poly gives me the best of both worlds- the intoxicating pleasure of new possibilities, and an ever-deepening gratitude for the established loves of my life.